I made this post so that Jesus could"rant"

If you want a link I guess you could go to google and type "Russia" and then "Georgia" and click on stuff until you find war jargon.

Does anyone keep up with world affairs besides me? What do you people do? I hope that some of you know about the conflict beween Georgia (the country not the state) and Russia. This is like David and Goliath, except in this case David is an atheist. Basically this poor little fellow dosen't even have a slingshot. This is crazy. If we had a half decent president we would have already stepped in and said, "Hold on there bubby, that's not nice". The Russians are hard core crazy. They have almost as many nuclear weapons as we do and they have no problem killing us. Their country doesn't have what we call "ethics". They don't kill babies because they don't have babies, they have mutant underworld children. Anyway, Georgia is all alone and they're pretty screwed. Their entire military consists of like 30,000 soldiers. Russia has about 20 times that. This is the beginning of the end. After this Russia will probably go to war with Europe and then China. The Europeans had better unite pretty quick before they all get bent over. We can only save them so many times after all. China is a superpower. If we go to war with them then we will lose anything that says "Made in China" on it. So that leaves most of us sitting on the floor of our houses with a book of matches and some pumpernickle (China doesn't make pumpernickle). Anyway the US has sent food and stuff over to Georgia because we're humanitarians, but the messed up thing is that Georgia wouldn't let us in the country. WHAT? Here we are, with a boatload of food, diapers, clothes, and other provisions and you're like "No thanks we'll just starve to death". Well I say it's their decision. We should declare war with Georgia and Russia, go Jackie Chan on the both of them, and get some world order started. America doesn't put up with this crap - at least we didn't use to. We're too scared now. We need to bend it like Roosevelt and tell all the nations of the world, "Look, we run this, and if you want to tussle then we'll bring the hammer down". With all this post apoctalyptic talk you would think that we would've already elected someone with some brass to sit in the whitehouse. Now I'm not saying this just to be saying it, but, Barack Obama won't go to war unless we get another 9-11 or a Pearl Harbor. John McCain will go to war if the German Prime Minister sneezes on his blouse. Neither of these guys are great militaristic strategists. They need some help. We're going to need some serious help if they let Bullwinkle handle foreign policy... Anyway the point is, if we let the big guy dump on the little guy aren't we besmerching the very ideals America was founded on. Are we so caught up in this pop-pseudo, "I cut myself because the world hates me", antiloving, sexist, social movement that we can't lend a hand to someone who really needs it? We need to stop all the BS and get our priorities straight. Are we going to step up or sit down? Is America really so occupied with crying over gas prices that we can't see these fascist monsters decending on the little guy. Would you let Tom Cruise push Stephen Hawking down a hill in his wheel chair? Would you let Mel Gibson drop-kick Steve Urkel in the face. We, as a whole, have to unite and give the world a new light so that it can find it's way out of the darkness. We have to set an example. We have to fight.


Also - Have you ever noticed how many flavors of jelly there are. Apparenly you can make jelly out of anything that melts. The possibilities.... endless?

Dumptrucks Save Texans On Roof - Tops

Turns out dumptrucks aren't just big toys, they also function as abroave' life saving devices. Hurricane Ike hit, beating the Gulf Coast like a slave and raping our wallets in the process (gas up $1.50 in 24 hours, they may have to cancel school at Greenup for a day). The water got pretty high on the Orange County lines between the Texas-Louisiana state border beside the Sabine River. Rescuers were using anything that could get through the water to get people to safety. There just happened to be a bunch of dump trucks sitting around and i'm sure some random guy was like, "Dude, we can use the dumptrucks", to which his friend responded, "Dude, that's a sweet idea". Those men are heroes in my book. I hope gas doesn't go up any higher or we seriously will have to change stuff. We need to switch to a 4 day school week. Anyway the situation is slowly coming under control. The problem with these hurricanes is that no one takes them seriously. They need to start giving them hard-core names. "Ike" just doesn't sound menacing enough. For example-

Tom Tucker - "This just in, Hurricane DoomKill is heading for Florida, we now take you there live with our on the scene reporter Trisha Tokanawa, Trisha... Trisha... Hello... Trisha, what are you doing here I thought you were in Florida?"

Trisha- "You must not have heard, Hurricane DoomKill is there."

There wouldn't be anyone left in Florida, they couldn't pay me enough to stay if Hurrican DoomKill was coming. That should save thousands of lives - and dollars for that matter.

Sarah Palin's daughter is "pregnant"?

The moose woman is stuck in some pretty deep doo doo. Not only is she totally in over her head as far as this vp thing goes we all just found out her daughter is with child. Now the crap really hit the fan. We're talking about some uptight, "i hate kids and non white people", republicans here. If Palin does not play this right then she's seriously bigaggeld. I think McCain was an idiot for ever picking bullwinkle as his vp. If he wanted a semi good looking governor with foreign experience then, duh, Arnold. THE GOVONATOR. He's not even from America, don't tell me he doesn't have foreign policy experience. Besides, he strikes fear in the hearts of his enemies. He doesn't spend sundays hunting moose on his snowmobile. HE would have brought the McCain campaign straight to the top. Luckily McCain (like Bush) is an idiot. I see the thought process of the McCainers though. They have a black guy, lets get a woman. It's political logic. The problem with Palin's situation is that her daughter is 17. That's not good. Her baby's daddy is eighteen. That's even worse. Luckily she played the right card on this one. The, " It's a mistake and i'm not ashamed of my daughters decision", card. I wish that the article would have told me this guys name so I could have emailed him a high five. This is just another flat tire for the McCain bus. Pretty soon I think they'll just give up. VOTE BARACK OBAMA.